The "I hate Christmas" thread, deluxe edition

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Unionist

I'm not sure I can bring myself to hate Hanukkah. I used to spin a mean dreidel.

Caissa

Gambling on Babble? I suppose it could be a progressive form of taxation.

6079_Smith_W

Well, to repeat my favourite line from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, 'how sentimental".

Come on man, this is the hate thread. I like latkes and tzimmes too,  but I didn't know celebrations of slaughter were off limits. You get the bumps like everyone else.

Just giving you the gears of course. Happy Hannukah.

 

 

Unionist

Caissa wrote:

Gambling on Babble? I suppose it could be a progressive form of taxation.

Hey, that could make for a good promo:

"You can't bet on babble - but you can sure bet on babble!"

Or maybe not...

6079_Smith_W wrote:
Happy Hannukah.

Thanks Smith, and the same to you and yours.

 

Caissa

 Hei, I'll have Nun of that Unionist. 

Maysie Maysie's picture

HOW could I have forgotten about Festivus?

doh smiley

Frank Costanza wrote:

The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it!"

....

George, stop crying and fight your father.

Now I can celebrate!

Smiley Smiley  Smiley

Maysie Maysie's picture

Did someone mention Hanukkah?

Quote:

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deil?

Bowser from Sha-Na-Na and Arthur Fonzerelli

6079_Smith_W

One more note on Hannukah...

In our kids' holiday school production Hannukah  was the only festival that featured people going at it with swords, but the hora that followed was by far the flashiest dance number in the whole show. 

And I'm not playing favourites, because my kids were doing Kwanzaa and the Russian Nutcracker ballet scene.

And I should say, coming from Winnipeg, the Hannukah scene is mighty thin here in Saskatoon.

 

 

6079_Smith_W

On CBC "In The Field" this afternoon - men who don't buy christmas presents, and the women who enable and cover up for them:

http://www.cbc.ca/inthefield/   

 

 

Slumberjack

I've timed myself.  One hour represents the outer limit of my tolerance for the shopping experience, after which the aisles start closing in, a tunnel forms, and the idea of curling up in the fetal position while sucking on my thumb doesn't sound half bad.

laine lowe laine lowe's picture

All I wanted was a tree stand. I called Zellers the other day and they had one left. I asked to have it placed aside and that I was heading over. The crowds, lack of staff and confusion over the stand had my pressure rising. I decided then and there to bite the bullet and buy whatever gifts I needed that day, knowing that it would just get worse over the next few days.

Yesterday at the supermarket, I was shocked by how empty the shelves were. There is only so much I can muy and fit into my backpack but I have a sinking feeling that they won't be restocking until after Christmas. It's like shoppers go into survivalist mode in preparation for the holidays.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

There's been years when the supply ship arrived here on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and on other holidays - so we just put everything aside and get our stuff at the two stores while we can - because, regardless of whether it's a holiday or not, the stores have to remain open when the supply ship gets in. It's not like we have any choice in the matter. Because of this reality I've done my weekly grocery shopping on Christmas Day in the past.

Caissa

I'm eating supper on both Christmas day and Boxing Day at my sister's house. Maybe it is time that I started hating Christmas.

Santa Claus

Christmas is kinda getting on my nerves too. 

Caissa

Well you get your pink slip on Monday. It's a shame about the processing times for EI these days.Wink

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

There ain't no Sanity Clause.

Maysie Maysie's picture

Santa doesn't work enough hours to qualify for EI.

Surprised

If that doesn't turn folks into grumps, I don't know what will.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Being offered crappy Christmas cake does it for me. Grump, grump, grump.

Brian White

I have  a Godot tree ordered but I am still waiting. F##K!   Guess a spruce (deciduous conifer) will have to do.

Glenl

I don't really hate Xmas, I was just afraid to go back into the Anti-imperialist thread.

RevolutionPlease RevolutionPlease's picture

Lol, Genl. Need humour to get through this time of year. I'm so proud nobody gives me gifts anymore. I give them the grincheye.

In the spirit though, for free, I can wish my love and best wishes for babblers in this new (western lunar) year. Have at it folks!

eta: The kids still get spoiled just no adults in my Festivus.

Glenl

My contribution to thread drift; Merry Xmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

Slumberjack

We've gone all out this year, with flavoured rolling papers and new pipes as stocking stuffers.

Maysie Maysie's picture

Boom Boom wrote:
Being offered crappy Christmas cake does it for me. Grump, grump, grump.

Something makes Boom Boom grumpy! It's a Festivus miracle!

Happy Dance

Now, where's that mistletoe?

 

Slumberjack wrote:
 We've gone all out this year, with flavoured rolling papers and new pipes as stocking stuffers.

Finally someone's thinking of the children.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Maysie wrote:

Boom Boom wrote:
Being offered crappy Christmas cake does it for me. Grump, grump, grump.

Something makes Boom Boom grumpy! It's a Festivus miracle!

Happy Dance

LOL! Hard to be festive when you've been served truly awful Christmas food, but I try.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Maysie wrote:

Now, where's that mistletoe?

 

CNN reporting a shortage of mistletoe this year due to droughts in the SouthWest.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Maysie wrote:

 It's a Festivus miracle!

 

"George, stop crying, and fight your father!"

Ripple

I enjoy Christmas, but this resonates in my home today.

 

[url=From">http://rabble.ca/blogs/bloggers/hadani/2011/12/new-york-baghdad-tale-two... New York to Baghdad[/url]

Quote:
I would like to be thinking about things like Miracle on 34th Street and An Affair to Remember. But instead I am thinking about Iraq.

There was more bombing in Baghdad today, and dozens of people were killed. My heart wants to be light, but it is heavy.

 

Polunatic2

What annoys me most about the Christmas season are the annual whiners in the media who complain about the imaginary "War on Christmas". It must come from their own sense of insecurity. There's a hint of religious supremacy about the whole thing as well. Christmas dominates for two entire months of the year. What's to feel so insecure about? I wrote this satirical piece on my blog in 2005 and thought it might bring cheer to Maysie's heart. . 

Polunatic's War on Christmas

Freedom 55

Do they know it's Christmas?

[url=http://www.hayibo.com/yes-we-know-its-christmas-say-african-musicians-as... we do[/url]

 

Quote:

After 28 years of silently tolerating it, a group of unemployed local musicians have joined forces to release a Christmas single, entitled ‘Yes we do,’  in response to the Bob Geldof inspired Band Aid song, ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’.

Quote:

When asked why the ensemble of African musicians, who have called themselves Plaster Cast, had taken so long to come up with a response to the Band Aid song Gundane said it had taken a while for them to realise that it wasn’t actually an elaborate joke.

“We kept waiting for them to laugh,” he said, “But the punch-line never arrived.”

Quote:

Gundane said he hoped that his involvement with the song would turn him into an expert on British politics and economics in the same way ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ had turned Geldof and Bono into the world’s leading experts on Africa.

“If I’m not sharing a platform with the Queen and David Cameron by this time next year; or headlining at Glastonbury, then I will have done something very wrong,” said Gundane.

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Will they likewise raise millions of pounds for relief with the new song?

Michelle

6079_Smith_W wrote:

On CBC "In The Field" this afternoon - men who don't buy christmas presents, and the women who enable and cover up for them:

http://www.cbc.ca/inthefield/   

Ooooooh, great clip, thanks for sharing!

I thought it was kind of funny that the person narrating/interviewing the women was a man.  I'd love to know whether he buys his own gifts... :)

In some marriages I've seen, the women love to shop, so the men abdicate and the women wouldn't have it any other way.  I, on the other hand, hate shopping.  It's a chore unless I know exactly what I want.  And then it's still a chore.  (Unless I'm shopping for fun stuff for myself, like art supplies.)

In my case, RR will shop if he has to - and we've done gift shopping together in the past.  But he would do it on December 23rd. (Hey, that's today!)  And I would be on pins and needles, knowing that if it didn't get done and we were empty-handed, it would reflect on me, not him.

On the other hand, there is way more gift-giving, and more expensive gift-giving, in my family than his.  So I buy for my family, which is the vast majority of the shopping.  And we often go together to get gifts for my kid. But this year, because I was so on top of my shopping and did it in early November, I did pretty much all the shopping.  He did manage to buy a gift certificate for someone this week.  And I ASSUME he got my gifts.  (Note the plural...kidding!)  Anyhow - it's not much of a bone of contention for us.

I think that women for whom this is actually a problem in their marriage should just STOP BUYING THE GIFTS.  Say, "This is your job this year.  Have fun!"  Or, if you don't want to dump it all on him but want him to share the burden, refuse to go Christmas shopping unless he comes with you.  And if he comes with you and plants himself on a bench at the mall, plant yourself next to him until he's ready to get up and help.

And if he doesn't do it at all, and you think you're going to be judged about it by whomever you're visiting (which of course you will be), then just say to your husband, "Okay, I'm not visiting so-and-so because I'm not going there empty-handed.  But you go ahead.  Tell them whatever you like about why I can't make it, and why you've come empty-handed.  Have fun!"  It'll usually be his family anyhow.  Go visit your own family and bring the gifts you got or made for them.  And in that little "from" line?  Just put your own name there.  Done!

jas

Lol.

Quote:
“Like Do they know about climate change in America? Or did Kim Jong-il have time to write down the abort codes for the nukes before he died? 

Actually, he's kind of missing the point anyway. The question has always been "What does Christmas have to do with it?"

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

My late momma's Christmas cake was actually the only one I've ever had that was worth eating; she added quite a dollop of brandy to each, and everything was cooked through. Dark Christmas cakes can sometimes be gooey - perhaps not cooked enough? - while light Christmas cakes can be crumbly in the middle - overcooked? Regardless, it's a hell of a lot of sugar (including candied fruit) in those things, and I'm trying to cut down on my sugar intake. Having said that, one of my neighbours dropped off a Christmas platter for me, with her homemade cakes and cookies - which I've put in the freezer for later. Hers are usually quite good, I'd say as good as what Mum used to bake (written while ducking the thunderbolts from above).

Christmas is the one time of the year when I have to be really careful with my diet - because too many good things will kill me. Frown

Michelle

Thanks for that, Freedom 55!  Every time I hear that song on the radio, I cringe.  "Do they know it's Christmas?"  Yes, of course, because everyone in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD celebrates Christmas, no matter what religion they are. 

Yes, they raised a lot of money with the song.  Doesn't stop the lyrics from being offensive.

"Feed the wo-orld! Let them know it's Christmas time again!"  Um, if "they" are Christians, then "they" already know.  If "they" are of another religion, then why assume that they should know or care when Christmas is?

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Just caught the end of the PM's Christmas message on CBC - he says - 1) Canada is now more united than ever; 2) at this time of the year, let us remember the less fortunate; and 3) let us remember our men and women in uniform.

The main problem I have with this message - so similar to all Christmas messages from Prime Ministers  - is that we should be fighting for the less fortunate amongst us every week of the year, and especially improving social policy - not just thinking of them at Christmas.

Brian White

Well, I cannot name my friend (for fear of his murder by religous fundamentalists) but he noted that Christmas is one event in the religous festivals of an absurd zombie worshiping (think easter) religion.  This probably explains the popularity of the living dead series on TV.   It seems to be a decendant of the original indo-european religion. They just killed off most of the gods to leave a 3 headed one. What else. Virgin birth.  Well, Zeus was a bad philanderer too.  Disguised himself as all sorts of animals to get it on.  What miracle stands out?  How come Mary didn't get stoned for cheating on hubby? I have no problem with people believing in a God.  But lets keep it reasonable and have a little logic going on. Virgin birth is for aphids, some rotifers, maybe some fish  and certain snakes and Lizards. But we can rule it out for horny young ladys.

How is that for grumpy.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

[url=http://www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/2020-norad-track-santa.html]Using Santa Claus to teach kids that the military is your friend and the paranoia of "homeland security" can be fun.[/url]

6079_Smith_W

@ Brian White

As a matter of fact, when the fundamentalists really ran things (Cromwell's England) they banned Christmas for over 20 years  because they knew as well than as we do now about its pagan roots, and also because Catholics had incorporated all that non-scriptural merry-making into the festival.

They replaced it with a day of fasting and sober glumness.

Puritans in the Americas did the same thing in Boston.

 

laine lowe laine lowe's picture

I think Jehovah's Witnesses also refuse to celebrate Christmas.

I went looking for a link to the anti-Band Aid song,

Yes we know it’s Christmas.

Had no luck finding it. Anyone have a link?

Brian White

Did they ban easter too? And Wine and Wafers?   Seems to me that the whole thing is pagan stuff tacked onto the Jewish religion to make it more culturally acceptable and therefore more marketable.

6079_Smith_W wrote:

@ Brian White

As a matter of fact, when the fundamentalists really ran things (Cromwell's England) they banned Christmas for over 20 years  because they knew as well than as we do now about its pagan roots, and also because Catholics had incorporated all that non-scriptural merry-making into the festival.

They replaced it with a day of fasting and sober glumness.

Puritans in the Americas did the same thing in Boston.

 

6079_Smith_W

You might want to get a rabbinical opinion about how Jewish the new faith was, even before it got taken over by Costantine.

The story of Peter's dream in Acts, in which he was told that the sacrifice of Jesus did away with a lot of the law, is a good place to start. And of course, Paul was really the one who made it all over in his own image.

And as for the Puritans,  nope, they didn't like Easter either, and they banned church marriages.  They didn't like very much about other people's beliefs.

http://www.apuritansmind.com/the-christian-walk/easter-the-devils-holida...

I read a passage in a biography of Elizabeth I about just how arrogant, intolerant and annoying some of the more zealous Puritans were - going into other churches and throwing over the pulpit, sounding rather like some modern fundamentalists - except that they seemed to know better what was actually written in the bible.

Of course not all people behaved that way . Elizabeth'sforeign minister Francis Walsingham (who was an early practitioner of modern espionage and intelligence) was a Puritan.

 

 

 

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture
Michelle

laine lowe wrote:

I think Jehovah's Witnesses also refuse to celebrate Christmas.

I went looking for a link to the anti-Band Aid song,

Yes we know it’s Christmas.

Had no luck finding it. Anyone have a link?

I was looking for the link in the article or something, but I think it's just a satirical article like ones from the Onion.  It's pretty great, though!

Brian White

6079_Smith_W wrote:

You might want to get a rabbinical opinion about how Jewish the new faith was, even before it got taken over by Costantine.

 

I would prefer an opinion from a complete outsider.  Someone who is open minded, and has almost no prior knowlege of either religion.  And not an athiest either. I have seen their comments on youtube and other places and seems to me that athiesm is a religion itself.

An interesting thing about the evolution of religion is that it probably has profound effects on the human brain. You have this incredible duality going on.  So you have scientists of all religions who take their work really seriously and at the same time are totally into a badly made up story that the thinking part of their brains knows is totally impossible. How can the brain separate the two?  This  means that we whose ancestors lived for about 1500 years in monotheist land are probably much more screwed up than those who have a bunch of warring gods in their fantacy heaven.  We have had about 60 generations where people who questioned the heart of the fantasy had really bad reproductive chances and those who could cordon off reality could do pretty well reproductively.

  I am aware of the uses of religion.  Each tribe probably had its own god back in the day and as the tribes fought and lost, and sometimes joined together,  bad (useless in war) gods died out and good gods (useful in war and sometimes useful in  peace too) got retained.

Invisible man gods that promise an afterlife of sexual fulfillment or of full bellies seem to have the most appeal to warlike people.  Who knows, maybe the sun and water and mountain gods may make a comeback soon.

Happy Christmas.

laine lowe laine lowe's picture

Whether you celebrate or not, enjoy the long weekend.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL4D1PcgZd4]Terry Gilliam's Christmas Card[/url]

6079_Smith_W

@ Brian White

I hear you. On the other hand, I don't think outsiders have a complete understanding, and there are some areas in which a community has to be able to define itself - especially when it is one that has been the subject of much oppression, misinterpretation, and appropriation.

After all that British group that sees itself as the descendents of the 10 tribes isn't the only group using that argument. I think most Christians see the roots of their faith in Judaeism. The problem is that many of them see their own faith as its more legitimate replacement - in essence, what god really intended all along.

But yes, Merry Christmas.

 

Maysie Maysie's picture

I needed to bump this, as there's far too much cheeriness on TAT. Yes even today. Yeah I said it.

Tongue out

Also, this amazing article made the rounds on FB a few days ago. Rocking.

Challenging the Christian month of December

Quote:

What we are experiencing is a form of Christian cultural imperialism (hegemony): a promotion of the larger Christian culture, celebrations, values, and beliefs. I define Christian hegemony as the overarching system of advantages bestowed on Christians. It is the institutionalization of a Christian norm or standard, which establishes and perpetuates the notion that all people are or should be Christian, thereby privileging Christians and Christianity and excluding the needs, concerns, cultural practices, and life experiences of people who do not define themselves as Christian. Often overt though at times subtle, Christian hegemony is oppression by intent and design, as well as by neglect, omission, erasure and distortion.

.....

The effect of the so-called secularization of religion, in fact, not only fortifies but indeed strengthens Christian privilege by perpetuating Christian hegemony in such a way as to avoid its detection as religion or to circumvent constitutional requirements for the separation of religion and government. Christian dominance, therefore, is maintained by its relative invisibility; and with this invisibility, privilege is neither analyzed nor scrutinized, neither interrogated nor confronted. Dominance is perceived as unremarkable or "normal," and when anyone poses a challenge or attempts to reveal its religious significance, those in the dominant group brand them as "subversive" or as "sacrilegious."

.....

When we as a society use the generic greeting "Happy Holidays" in December, many of us may intend to promote intercultural awareness and sensitivity. But I would argue that this actually has the exact opposite effect by giving most of us the excuse not to do our homework in truly investigating other cultures and other forms of celebration. When we wish others "Happy Holidays" in December, we do not have to think about when others' major holidays actually occur, and we do not have to acknowledge that many people are not affiliated with religion at all.

While the intent may certainly be well-meaning and heartfelt, the impact is often exactly the opposite. The concept of oppression, then, constitutes more than the cruel and repressive actions of individuals upon others. It involves an overarching system of differentials of social power and privilege exercised by dominant groups over subordinated groups, based on ascribed social identities and reinforced by unequal social group status. And this is not merely the case in societies ruled by coercive or tyrannical leaders but occurs within the day-to-day practices of contemporary democratic societies such as the United States [and Canada].

Mr.Tea

This Blumenfeld guy has waaaaay too much time on his hands to shape such a molehill into a mountain. This guy seems like exactly the type I hate getting stuck next to at a dinner party.

6079_Smith_W

Mr.Tea wrote:

This Blumenfeld guy has waaaaay too much time on his hands to shape such a molehill into a mountain. This guy seems like exactly the type I hate getting stuck next to at a dinner party.

Not as much free time as whoever compiled this page:

http://www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.html

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