The "I hate Christmas" thread, deluxe edition

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Bacchus

Maysie wrote:

omg Boom Boom! I Love this! Stealing to share on Facebook! Hee hee.

 

Me too

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

Great article, Lori. And great to see our new labour reporter on babble! Welcome!

Michelle

The Christmas Song by Billy Crystal

Only funny if you listened to Crystal in the early 80's and know all his impersonations...it's mahvelous, dahling.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

It just wouldn't be Christmas without the Godzilla nativity:

 

 

MegB

I don't see Gamera or Mothra. You know you can't just marginalize monsters because they aren't perceived as being as "cool" as Godzilla.

You're a Japanese monster bigot, that's what you are.

KenS

I dont really hate Christmas.

But wouldn't it be nice if it just slipped away.

Like a forgotten garden gnome carried off by elves.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

We have 'shotgun weddings', why not a 'shotgun shell nativity'? Tongue out

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Rebecca West wrote:

I don't see Gamera or Mothra. You know you can't just marginalize monsters because they aren't perceived as being as "cool" as Godzilla.

You're a Japanese monster bigot, that's what you are.

I tried a King Kong nativity, but he stepped on the baby. Frown

MegB

Boom Boom wrote:

Rebecca West wrote:

I don't see Gamera or Mothra. You know you can't just marginalize monsters because they aren't perceived as being as "cool" as Godzilla.

You're a Japanese monster bigot, that's what you are.

I tried a King Kong nativity, but he stepped on the baby. Frown

Giant simians will do that from time to time.  Zombies being all the rage, I should ask my daughter to make a zombie nativity.  Mock the resurrection an' all.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Zombie Nativity - for Rebecca. Innocent

MegB

Much appreciated Boom Boom. Hard to tell, but I trust those are zombie sheep? You can never have too many zombie sheep, you know ...

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Yes, indeedy. Laughing

Maysie Maysie's picture

Boom Boom wrote:

Zombie Nativity - for Rebecca. Innocent

What the hell is the second person from the left holding? A purple plunger? Now THAT's content for the "I hate Christmas" thread! Thanks for getting us back on track, Boom Boom!

Michelle

Myrrh.  The purple is his chest, and the stick in his chest is, I assume, a wooden stake.  He's one of the three wise guys.  The guy to his left is carrying the gold, I assume.  Unfortunately, it looks like the wise guy on the right forgot the frankincense.

Michelle

Unionist wrote:
6079_Smith_W wrote:

Yes, I have that one in my "Leam to Kem" file already.

That is very cute, Winston. I'm usually the one at a party that starts up a conversation about the delights of kerning, soon to find myself alone in the room. I've found a soulmate.

Awesome.  When you come to a party at my place, I'll pair you up with the hubby.  You can start up a conversation with him about kerning, and he can tell you all about how well free software does it. ;)

Michelle

I hate Christmas, by Oscar the Grouch.  From my favourite Christmas album ever!

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Michelle wrote:

Myrrh.  The purple is his chest, and the stick in his chest is, I assume, a wooden stake.  He's one of the three wise guys.  The guy to his left is carrying the gold, I assume.  Unfortunately, it looks like the wise guy on the right forgot the frankincense.

Excellent summary!

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

Maysie wrote:

Fuck Christmas. (I think the writer of that blog is my soulmate)

Fuck Christmas: the song 

Now, THAT's what I'm talkin' about. 

Hee hee.

I just had to bump this post up from last year in case people had missed it or forgotten it. Both of these exude the real spirit of Christmas

lagatta

The meat and piggy nativities aren't very Kosher, considered the main players in that story were all Jewish. 

Unionist

Aw lagatta, party pooper! What next? No Jewish zombies??

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Hmmmm.... Jewish zombies. Sounds like a great idea for a book or movie. Laughing  I'll look around for Stephen King's email address to sell him on the idea.

Bacchus

Actually it was just released as a book about the birth of Jesus and zombies ;o)

 

Plus there is this

6079_Smith_W

Boom Boom wrote:

Hmmmm.... Jewish zombies. Sounds like a great idea for a book or movie. Laughing  I'll look around for Stephen King's email address to sell him on the idea.

Maybe he'd do better than Meyrinck did with the Golem story.... or not.

genstrike

Fuck you if you don't like Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ysfQjKKi70

Michelle

Best Christmas song ever!  That would be a funny one to surreptitiously put on the family Christmas playlist for Christmas Eve or morning.  Heh.

DaveW

Japan loves "Christmas":

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/food/2012/12/why-japan-is-obsessed-with-...

It’s Christmas Eve in Japan. Little boys and girls pull on their coats, the twinkle of anticipation in their eyes. Keeping the tradition alive, they will trek with their families to feast at … the popular American fast food chain KFC.

Christmas isn’t a national holiday in Japan—only one percent of the Japanese population is estimated to be Christian—yet a bucket of “Christmas Chicken” (the next best thing to turkey—a meat you can’t find anywhere in Japan) is the go-to meal on the big day. And it’s all thanks to the insanely successful “Kurisumasu ni wa kentakkii!” (Kentucky for Christmas!) marketing campaign in 1974.

Read more: http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/food/2012/12/why-japan-is-obsessed-with-...
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

 

MegB

Michelle wrote:

Best Christmas song ever!  That would be a funny one to surreptitiously put on the family Christmas playlist for Christmas Eve or morning.  Heh.

I dunno, the "I AM SANTA CLAUS" parody of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" still does it for me.

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

I got this in a e-mail. Not sure whether it best suits the I Hate Xmas thread or I Love Xmas one.

 
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
 
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known ... only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

You mentioned Santa?

MegB

kropotkin1951 wrote:

I got this in a e-mail. Not sure whether it best suits the I Hate Xmas thread or I Love Xmas one.

 
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
 
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known ... only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

I always suspected as much. 

lagatta

A local, upscale grocery is featuring caribou tourtière from Les Fougères in Chelsea (Ottawa Valley, Québec Side)  for the holiday season. Rudoph or Rudolpha? 

Michelle
Maysie Maysie's picture

Bump!

You're welcome everyone. Laughing

6079_Smith_W

At least you waited until Advent.

lagatta

I loathe Christmas, though it bothers me far less than it used to. Now I just think of it as a period where some friends at least have time to get together. The key is avoiding shopping as much as possible. It is much easier now to find alternatives to Christmas music, which always wants me want to break out in tears. I don't mean the hymns, I mean the sappy, Church of Shopping crap.

Radio-Canada and CBC have good online playlists; I especially like some of the streams available at Espace Musique.

Neither of my parents are alive now (my father died relatively young, my mother died very, very old) and I don't have any family in Mtl, though I do have relatives not terribly far in other Québec and Eastern Ontario towns. So it's mostly "chosen family", unless I go visit my cousin in Gatineau, though she will probably come here as her daughter is studying and working here.

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

Maysie wrote:
Bump[ity-bump-bump, bumpity-bump-bump...]!

Fixed.

Caissa

I hate the crass commercialism and omnipresent Christmas music.

Unionist

I wanted to wish everyone a really, really Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah … all you infidel atheists out there, I want to wish you the very best also.

I don't know what you celebrate during the holiday season. I, myself, celebrate the birth of Christ.

ETA: Whoops, sorry, I should have mentioned that the above was a direct quote from Manitoba Conservative party leader [url=http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-tory-leader-slammed-for-... Pallister[/url].

 

6079_Smith_W

I almost feel for they guy, because it was such a tone-deaf comment. Clearly he was trying to be friendly, hip, and inclusive, and had no idea what he was saying.

 

 

lagatta

I don't feel offended by it, just thought it was stupid.

Unionist

So.... you're saying this isn't the right time for me to tell Brian that I prefer celebrating the death of Christ on Good Friday? They do call it "Good" after all...

And they also say, "Thank God it's Friday".

Just sayin'.

 

cco

Target Canada will not be playing Christmas musix in its stores

I wonder what the research (you know there's been some) looks like on how piped-in Christmas music affects shopping habits.

lagatta

That almost makes me want to shop there! But then I remember how they shafted the Zellers workers... Everyone I know who has gone there says they are out of a lot of announced stock, and that there aren't really any great buys.

Bacchus

Zellers shafted the workers, not Target, Target just bought the leases for stores Zellers was selling. Target did not buy any stores in that sense, just the lease from the landlord.

 

Not saying they are progressive (even compared to Walmart) but they are innocent of this particular sin

MegB

Meh. I'm an Anglican-raised atheist, and Christmas is awesome. The cheezy crafts, baking and cooking, seeing people I love and avoiding relatives I don't like so much, all are happy things for me. I hate shopping, but I love making homemade prezzies for people. I've been knitting for months. Yay Xmas!

Bacchus

I agree RW. We are making all our gifts this year.

Bath bombs, lip balm, cookies, vanilla extract, body spray, milk bath etc

shartal@rogers.com

In my family we have a tradition of exchanging books at Christmas. One year my mother and I both gave each other Shipping news. The comment was we had both read the same reviews.

MegB

Bacchus wrote:

I agree RW. We are making all our gifts this year.

Bath bombs, lip balm, cookies, vanilla extract, body spray, milk bath etc

I love making bath products scented with essential oils, which are great for people with chemical sensitivities. I'm also making goodie packages for our neighbours with peanut brittle, biscotti and chocolate truffles (insanely easy to make). Also, I make jewellery - earrings, bracelets, etc. - with semi-precious stones, copper, silver and polymer clay. I've knit hats, socks, scarves and, new this year, felt lined purses and courier bags. I'm even working on a knit wreath for our front door. We had to retire our old one, and when I looked at the price of a new one, no way was I going to pay $40-$50 for something we use for a few weeks a year.

Bacchus

I love using essential oils. Even took a course in it once and used to teach it (as well as making your own liquers) at pagan festivals

MegB

Bacchus wrote:

I love using essential oils. Even took a course in it once and used to teach it (as well as making your own liquers) at pagan festivals

When I make any personal care stuff, I always keep in mind people who have sensitivities. You can get gobs of fragrance oil on the cheap, but essential oils have no chemical additives. When I make cold process soap, it's pretty labour-intensive, and thetime it takes to cure the so can rea
Ly minimize the effectiveness of essential oils, but I've found that using a glycerine soap base with essential oils works very well for chemically sensitive people. Same with bath bombs, etc.

I used to be the biggest Xmas-hater, for the same reasons that others have mentioned here, and used to put on the too-bright and cheery face for the sake of the kids, but, after a while, it got to be too hard, so I decided to make the inevitable holiday something enjoyable.

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