The "I hate Christmas" thread, deluxe edition

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cco

If aliens came to Earth, how much explaining would it take for them to understand NORAD Tracks Santa?

"Well, you see, it's mainly there to help us eradicate human life on Earth, if the right people decide we need to. We haven't needed to so far, but we keep them around just in case. But as long as it's around, we warm the hearts of over 100 nations by helping Christian parents lie to their children once a year."

Slumberjack

Christmas and Easter constitute the reinforcement of nonsense with even more nonsense, much of it aimed at children.  The Jesus story by itself doesn't quite cut it in terms of perpetuating the mythology generation after generation, and so fun things like presents and chocolate serve as bribery.  Maintain the traditions and we'll make it worth your while.  To me Debord doesn't nearly get enough credit.

Unionist

shartal@rogers.com wrote:
Boom Boom where did you find those delicious photos including he sees you when you're sleeping, the drowned Jesus and the meat nativity? I would love to repost them

Boom Boom may not be following the thread these days, depending on his health issues.

If you right-click on those photos and select something like "view image info", you should get the information you're looking for.

Examples:

"Sees you when you're sleeping":

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r137/maysiewaysie/261540_413921732015...

Drowned Jesus:

http://sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/c67.0.403.403/p403x403/425...

Meat nativity:

http://sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/c0.0.843.403/p843x403/4756...

Of course, even better is to right-click and pick "save image as..." - then you don't risk the original online photo disappearing.

Don't thank me. I'm just acting as the instrument of Boom Boom, King of the Universe.

 

CanadaOrangeCat

Like many before me for maybe 30,000 years, I am happy the days are about to get longer.
This is a demonstrable fact about life on earth.

lagatta

We had a little Solstice party yesterday evening. I didn't have time to make my goat ricotta, leek and greens tart (sort of like a quiche, but less egg), we had lots of little nibbles; I made a green salad. However, we got a little more in the way of light and heat that we had bargained for.

There was a strange burning odour from the triplex next door - the owner is a well-known chef who has a very upscale (and evidently, very good) restaurant in Old Montreal; we thought some grilling had gone wrong. But no, there was a fire in the triplex on the other side of theirs, and it was spreading to my friend's neighbours. We realized that what we saw next door was firefighters seeing if the fire was spreading, and going out the front door, the street was filled with a whole brigade of firefighters and both ends were blocked off.

Needless to say, we, and all the other residents nearby, wanted to know whether we had to flee or should just remain there. A firefighter told us we were safe inside, but that if we wanted to leave, we had to go beyond Boulevard Saint-Joseph (the street at the north). However, to put it mildly, this meant a serious change in tone. We stayed, but put on our boots and I had my cross-shoulder bag around my body (it contained about $200 for purchases I had to make, my bank cards and other important ones).

Eventually most of the firefighters left and everything seemed under control, but they had made a huge mess ripping away walls and cupboards in the kitchen of the neighbouring triplex, and who knows what else. The chef and family had done a huge renovation and rebuild this past year, including a new staircase behind the house and one within it, as they had taken all three floors of the triplex. I think adult children live on the top storey, and the mother of the family has her home office there; my friend did not know her precise profession.

Even though they can afford to stay in a hotel, it will still mean a very different Christmastime, and for my friend, it will mean all the noise and dirt of renovation may well resume this spring.

Happy Solstice anyway. I don't believe anyone was hurt.

shartal@rogers.com

Lagatta, I'm glad you are safe...hugs

Aristotleded24

lagatta wrote:
Happy Solstice anyway. I don't believe anyone was hurt.

That's what matters. All the best to you and yours.

lagatta

Yes, I have the very good news that Caramel, the caramel-coloured tom who comes around begging sweetly for nibbles and chin-scratches everywhere in my friend's neighbourhood, is alive and well.

Bacchus

Excellent news

6079_Smith_W

THank God it's not Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho_WsJK_MTg

sherpa-finn

Memories of Boom Boom on p.1 of this this same thread, Dec 2011:

RIP.

Maysie Maysie's picture

BUMP!

Maysie Maysie's picture

lagatta

Boom Boom and Caramel the neighbour tomcat have both passed away in the meantime. Caramel also had a type of cancer, and could not eat towards the end. :(

At least the Pope is saying that non-human animals can also go to heaven. Not that I believe in heaven, but it is progress of a sort.

I really haven't been in any shopping centres with pumped-in music, so I've pretty much been able to ignore the Festive season (les Fêtes). I attended a party held by L'Association des locataires, and had a few friends over, but we were actually celebrating a friend's return to the bloody snow (though fortunately not cold) from two months in Cuba.

 

6079_Smith_W

Maysie wrote:

Sorry, but even hate isn't guilt-free any more:

http://www.businessinsider.com/grumpy-cat-has-earned-its-owner-nearly-10...

Unionist

One of my favourite New Testament passages, from John 18:

Quote:

37 "So you are a king, then!" said Pilate. Jesus answered, "You are right to say I am a king. In fact, that's the reason I was born. I came into the world to give witness to the truth. Everyone who is on the side of truth listens to me."

38 "What is truth?" Pilate asked. Then Pilate went out again to the Jews. He said, "I find no basis for any charge against him.

39 But it is your practice for me to set one prisoner free for you at Passover time. Do you want me to set 'the king of the Jews' free?"

40 They shouted back, "No! Not him! Give us Barabbas!" Barabbas had taken part in an armed struggle against the country's rulers.

As I mentioned before, I'm still down for celebrating the birth of Barabbas - not that Jesus dude who had monarcho-theological delusions, and obviously couldn't rally any popular support.

6079_Smith_W

Probably best to hold onto that for the hate Easter thread. You know... Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs, and all that.

But what translation is that? It's not exactly how I remember it. Has Francis been messing with the book again?

 

 

Unionist

6079_Smith_W wrote:

Probably best to hold onto that for the hate Easter thread. You know... Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs, and all that.

Since Jesus wasn't born on Christmas (if he was born at all), I reserve my sacred right to pronounce upon his legacy during any season.

Quote:
But what translation is that? It's not exactly how I remember it. Has Francis been messing with the book again?

It's the [url=http://www.biblestudytools.com/parallel-bible/passage.aspx?q=john+18:40&... International Readers' Version[/url]..

You probably recall an earlier translation by some hirelings of a king of England. Unsurprisingly, they rendered "revolutionary" as "robber". To this day, the bosses accuse the workers of trying to abscond with their God-given wealth.

Slumberjack

It does get a little confusing doesn't it?  In a religious piece in the local paper, a pastor said that the Yuletide log serves as a reminder that God hasn't forgotten us.  And here I thought it was a reminder to not forget about northern European paganism.

6079_Smith_W

Nah, more noticing the omission of the part where he said he wasn't expecting popular support, or anyone to rush to his aid at all.

It is fun to play around with the bible, I agree. I expect it was more fun in the days when more of us had enough grounding in classical mythology to distinguish what IS the joke.

(edit)

@ SJ

Yeah. Strangely enough, we had some antique collector fellow on the radio here last week who claimed the first CHristmas trees were made of feathers, and that the tradition was started in the White House. The first part is sort of true, but they were invented in Germany.

 

 

 

 

6079_Smith_W

I'm sure everyone has seen this series making the rounds:

Aristotleded24

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGpATMO-6_o]Bill Maher on how to save Christmas[/url]

Bacchus

Unionist wrote:

One of my favourite New Testament passages, from John 18:

Quote:

37 "So you are a king, then!" said Pilate. Jesus answered, "You are right to say I am a king. In fact, that's the reason I was born. I came into the world to give witness to the truth. Everyone who is on the side of truth listens to me."

38 "What is truth?" Pilate asked. Then Pilate went out again to the Jews. He said, "I find no basis for any charge against him.

39 But it is your practice for me to set one prisoner free for you at Passover time. Do you want me to set 'the king of the Jews' free?"

40 They shouted back, "No! Not him! Give us Barabbas!" Barabbas had taken part in an armed struggle against the country's rulers.

As I mentioned before, I'm still down for celebrating the birth of Barabbas - not that Jesus dude who had monarcho-theological delusions, and obviously couldn't rally any popular support.

 

Having studied this time frame when I was in University, Jesus (as well as Barabbas for that matter) was one of hundreds of similar 'rabble rousers' in that time period. Most rebelling against various Jewish factions (and/or the rulling Jewish Sect) instead of the Romans

epaulo13 epaulo13's picture

Dropkick Murphys - "The Season's Upon Us"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk

Slumberjack

Oh Jesus.

Quote:
“Do they know it’s Christmas?” the millionaires sing (ahem, screech). “How can they know it’s Christmas time at all?” Oh yes, clearly Africans do not know what Christmas is, nor could they possibly be able to even know it. Enlighten them please, rich white saviors. We definitely need more cultural imperialism and colonialist proselytizing. This is precisely what is needed to stop a disease that is ravaging West Africa and killing thousands.

lagatta

I'm old enough to remember and having been mightily pissed off at the first version. St. Monica and her son Augustine, one of the "fathers of the church", were African, and they were Christian a hell of a long time before anyone on an island off northwestern Europe.

And Africans who aren't Christian are very likely to be Muslim. (Yes, in either case they can also be Animists - syncretism). There is a Surat (Maryam) in the Qoran about the birth of the prophet Jesus.

I wonder what Desmond Tutu would think of the re-release of this patronising cant... In the meantime, African health professionals and grassroots health workers have played a leading role in stemming the Ebola crisis.

6079_Smith_W

Maysie Maysie's picture

omg Smith! Love it!! Stealing it.

Rufus Wainwright Christmas for Atheists. Hee hee.

Maysie Maysie's picture

My new soulmate, Lewis Black.

Warning: lots of swearing and  some rather rude intimations about Santa. Laughing

Lewis Black on Christmas and Chanukkah

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

My favourite atheist christmas song:  White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin.  It's not really about hating christmas, but more about what christmas really should be about, and is for many of us who don't believe.

Here's a link to the animated version. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWQuDtxD2-c

NDPP

Christian Dogma Should Be Questioned  -  by Andre Vltchek

http://www.counterpunch.org/2014/12/19/christian-dogma-should-be-questio...

"The faith which murdered hundreds of millions of people worldwide, reducing hundreds of great civilizations to ashes, is, until now, unapologetic and self-assured.

The terror spread to all corners of the planet by Christianity has been unprecedented, and it has to be remembered, especially now, when the most celebrated Christian holiday is painting homes and shopping centers in that innocent hypocritical white color, while hiding deep down the color red, that of spilt blood, as well as the color black, that of burned and ruined cities and nations..."

Fuck Christmas

epaulo13 epaulo13's picture
Misfit

@Unionist,

 

If I may, and I hope not to offend anyone for that is not my intention of posting here.  I combed through this thread from beginning to end, and I was struck by your insight into Jewish Religious history with keen interest.  In my part of the country, we do not get the benefit of Jewish perspectives at all which is so sad.  I noticed in previous threads how you portrayed the Exodus and Passover as a passive event of people lead by Yahweh.  My interpretation is exactly the opposite and here's why...

When I was a child, I was terrified of the movie, the Ten Commandments, when it came to the scene of the Angel of Death descending down and kiilling the first born son of every Egyptian family in the land. I won't get into why. If Yahweh is the supreme God, and is all powerful, all knowing, and all present, then why did the Jewish people have to mark their doors with lamb's blood so that the Angel of Death knew which houses to pass over?  Wouldn't an all knowing supreme being know which doors to hit anyway without slaughtering all those innocent little lambs?  Yahweh would have known, but Jewish resistance fighters would not know which doors to enter and slaughter which is why their doors were marked with lambs blood.  This means that you did have an active rebellion and revolution after all.

Someone mentioned up thread that there is no archaeological evidence of any slavery in Egypt during the building of the pyramids, and that there is no historical authenticity to the Exodus story at all.  That could well be and I am inclined to doubt Egypt Exodus as well, but that does not negate the validity of Jewish enslavement in their history, and a legitimate rebellion from enslaved oppression. The fact that they had to mark their doors and vengefully kill the first born (and think of the cultural multigenerational significance of the slaughter of an entire cultures' first born in every family) signifies very deeply rooted anger against another culture that could not have been made up as just a cultural story of lore. Over thousands of years, the names of the people involved would change to adapt to new cultures, and the locations named of the occupation would change as well to make the story real to the people at the time who were nomadic and were not fixed in one location.

All we need to do is look at ourselves today.  The English language has changed dramatically over the last 400 years.  It has spread to different cultures around the globe and there are so many dialects some of which I would not be able to understand what they are saying.  Also, Hollywood is renowned for making movies that are based on true stories and taking liberties with the historical facts.  it doesn't mean that the entire movie is fiction, they just modified it for dramatic appeal so that people can relate to the story better. With Exodus, names and places would likely have changed many times over thousands of years, and the storyline coloured to make it real to new generations of Jewish people living in different locations over time.

ETA...

I do not believe that Biblical stories can be taken literally, but that is my opinion.  I do, however, believe that there was slavery, and that it likely was the Jewish people who successfully fought their way out from somewhere.

 

 

laine lowe laine lowe's picture

Some good stuff to share in here. I really like the wise men public transit cartoon.

lagatta

Timebandit. I love that song. It makes me cry a bit, which is not a bad thing. I actually have broken bread with Desmond Tutu and his wife, interpreting for them at a CSN convention. They were charming and a lot of fun, and didn't go God-bothering anyone. Although I'm an atheist, I'm sure I found them better company than I'd have found Dawkins.

I'd like to translate that song into Spanish for a friend from Argentina who will be heading back home to the Austral summer soon. Unfortunately, her slightly older brother died a couple of months ago down there.

 

 

 

Left Turn Left Turn's picture

The following is a brilliant piece of satire from 2011 connecting elements of Christmas with the situation in Palestine.

[url=http://www.bdssouthafrica.com/2011/12/v-behaviorurldefaultvml-o.html]Santa In Distress, 3 Wise Men Arrested]Santa In Distress, 3 Wise Men Arrested[/url]

radiorahim radiorahim's picture

Playing Secret Santa this year?   Why not try "Crypto Santa"?

...and learn a little bit about how privacy tools like the Tor Project work!

Santa Claus

Feeling a bit lazy this year.  I'm encouraging everyone to just ask for gift cards.  To be honest I'm starting to get a bit sick of the whole fucking thing.

lagatta

I bet the reindeer are sick of falling into the Arctic ocean, with the undependable ice cover you have nowadays. They'd rather travel south to hook up with some cute local caribou...

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

I had reindeer stew when we were in Norway last summer.  It was very tasty.

 

Aristotleded24

Misfit wrote:
When I was a child, I was terrified of the movie, the Ten Commandments, when it came to the scene of the Angel of Death descending down and kiilling the first born son of every Egyptian family in the land. I won't get into why. If Yahweh is the supreme God, and is all powerful, all knowing, and all present, then why did the Jewish people have to mark their doors with lamb's blood so that the Angel of Death knew which houses to pass over?  Wouldn't an all knowing supreme being know which doors to hit anyway without slaughtering all those innocent little lambs?  Yahweh would have known, but Jewish resistance fighters would not know which doors to enter and slaughter which is why their doors were marked with lambs blood.  This means that you did have an active rebellion and revolution after all.

The Bible doesn't record it, but the Ten Commandments has Moses ask God how He let His people suffer in slavery for a long time. God's answer in both the movie and Exodus is that Moses is to lead the people out of their position, which to me means that people have to actually act themselves and to not rely on a deity to save them.

I also want to comment briefly on the idea of Yahweh. At that particular time in human history, there were all kinds of gods people had invented that had all sorts of names. That's why Moses had to ask what God's name was, because there were several. God's answered "Yahweh," which translates into English as "I Am That I Am," which effectively means that God or the sacred is beyond all those categories that people try and box God into. Of course in time Yahweh did morph into a bloody tribal deity that was common at the time, but that idea of God being beyond human comprehension expressed in that conversation was revolutionary for the time.

Misfit wrote:
Someone mentioned up thread that there is no archaeological evidence of any slavery in Egypt during the building of the pyramids, and that there is no historical authenticity to the Exodus story at all.  That could well be and I am inclined to doubt Egypt Exodus as well, but that does not negate the validity of Jewish enslavement in their history, and a legitimate rebellion from enslaved oppression. The fact that they had to mark their doors and vengefully kill the first born (and think of the cultural multigenerational significance of the slaughter of an entire cultures' first born in every family) signifies very deeply rooted anger against another culture that could not have been made up as just a cultural story of lore. Over thousands of years, the names of the people involved would change to adapt to new cultures, and the locations named of the occupation would change as well to make the story real to the people at the time who were nomadic and were not fixed in one location.

All we need to do is look at ourselves today.  The English language has changed dramatically over the last 400 years.  It has spread to different cultures around the globe and there are so many dialects some of which I would not be able to understand what they are saying.  Also, Hollywood is renowned for making movies that are based on true stories and taking liberties with the historical facts.  it doesn't mean that the entire movie is fiction, they just modified it for dramatic appeal so that people can relate to the story better. With Exodus, names and places would likely have changed many times over thousands of years, and the storyline coloured to make it real to new generations of Jewish people living in different locations over time.

It's interesting that we get hung up on historical accuracy, but human beings have only been able to accurately record human history for the last 500-200 years. I always get amused when people claim that Jesus of Nazereth didn't exist or was a fictional character. My response to that is to say that as certain as we can be of anything that happened in that time frame, that's how certain we can be about the existence of Jesus. The theological implications, whether he was the Messiah or was portrayed as Horus or other things are certainly debateable and many well-respected historians and theologians have differing opinions.

Misfit wrote:
I do not believe that Biblical stories can be taken literally, but that is my opinion.

You would be correct. Insisting that every word in the Bible be taken literally is an Enlightenment phenomenon.

lagatta

Timebandit, now zoologists say that reindeer and caribou are the same species, but there must be some kind of difference, as I don't believe anyone has been able to domesticate caribou. They sure are tasty though...

And the Pope on the 15 "diseases" of the Curia: http://vaticaninsider.lastampa.it/en/the-vatican/detail/articolo/frances...

Funny how many of these can be applied to other types of organizations!

Maysie Maysie's picture
Unionist

Maysie wrote:

For Unionist.

I KissInnocentSmile you, Maysie! Happy Everything!

 

laine lowe laine lowe's picture

Maysie, those were so much fun. I used them as xmas gifts to friends on Facebook. Thanks!

 

Unionist
6079_Smith_W

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1491849/thumbs/o-BOYS-GIRLS-TOYS-900.jpg?6

6079_Smith_W
Unionist

Passenger tossed after flipping out over staff’s ‘Merry Christmas’

So proud of the U.S. - defending God-fearing folks against Social Justice Warriors and other criminal elements!

 

sherpa-finn

And happy holiday wishes to Babble's own Kropotkin, wherever he may be these days ...

 

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