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The new five letter word: Trump

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Bridge players may be the next to denounce the Republicans’ 2016 candidate, if only in self-defence, as "Are you trying to Trump me?" takes on new meanings.  Donald Trump's trademark lends itself all too easily to mockery.

After the last debate, several commentators mentioned the way Donald paced the stage floor and hulked menacingly behind Hillary Clinton.  Media have diligently been digging up dirt, and some of it seems to be sticking to Donald. Few commentators give him the benefit of the doubt. Seems that Donald has Trumped reporters and left resentful staff at every single media venue he has worked. 

After the debate, I joked to a friend that this year’s hottest Halloween costume will be Sniffing Lurching Zombie Trump. Lo and behold, Heavy.com offers directions for a DIY "Zombie Donald Trump" costume. True Jersey magazine has a large grisly collection of new Donald masks. In London, journalist Jemima Khan arrived at a costume party with a manikin Donald wrapped around her, groping her breasts.

Oddly enough, the Trump campaign is not promoting last year's "Donna T Rumpshaker" outfit. It's available online, but now it's labelled "Donald Trump" or "Trump fan."

Of course, choosing only one costume is difficult because Donald is so much more than a stuffed suit. Unlike Bill Cosby, he extends himself way beyond a single category. He’s a bigot, a misogynist, a racist, a non-stop liar, a contract-breaker, a smug tax avoider, as well as a sexual predator. He is kind of a Renaissance man of corruption. Hence, the dilemma. After Halloween, how shall he go into the language? 

Perhaps his name will live on in the construction and real estate industries, as a warning to anyone who shows signs of reneging on payment: "Don't do a Trump on me, now."

Perhaps he’ll become what he has always been, the beacon of huckersterism. And an honest person's response to a shady pitch will be, "I can't lend my name to that.  What kind of Trump do you take me for?"

Perhaps the racist side of him will prove his most lasting legacy. African-Americans and Hispanics will start taking about dangerous police-patrolled areas as "Trumperhoods," you know, where someone sucker-punches you while the guy with the microphone leads the cheers. 

Liars' clubs can hold "Can you Trump that?" or "Trump that tale!" contests. As Texans say, "The first liar never stands a chance," so the first speaker will be the ice-breaker, and inevitably out-Trumped.

But I suspect Trump's lasting legacy will be his snowballing reputation for sexually assaulting women simply because they're within his arm's reach. He will join the mythical legions of Jack the Ripper and Cosby the Raper, probably as an adjective -- "Oh no man, you are not going to go all Trump on that nice lady at the bar" – or a pejorative noun. He’ll turn into a bad date warning: "Honey, don’t go out with him, he’s all Trump."
As for bridge players, I suggest "tromp" as a replacement for "trump." As in, Nate Silver gives an 85% chance that Trump is about to get tromped. Let's hope his name doesn’t linger in history as the trigger for even a brief civil insurrection.

Image: flickr/NickDouglas

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